On my Life's Direction
Since coming to Austin, I've looked for direction. I've always had a deep appreciation of systems, and believe my answer lies in the refinement of those I hold and admire currently. I believe it's necessary to find a balance between thoughtfulness and action. Constant reflection and reinforcement. Long term reflection makes writing necessary. This is an exercise in that. Group interaction and review means more publishing. These are the tools to long term growth, a radical awareness and openness. I should find peace in the rules and boundaries I set for myself, not anxiety and shame. There's always opportunities to learn and grow. If I'm unable to find them, I should reflect on my direction and interactions. The mornings and nights are peaceful and quiet, moments to reflect. Should I have a break in the middle of my day, I'd be silly to not take advantage of that.
I strive to reduce and automate the mundanites of the day. Anything that can be, should be. Routines and systems are work, conversely they decrease cognitive load and allow me to be more thoughtful. Systems are powerful ways to encounter and dissect problems. It's the thoughtful use of them that allow myself to: reduce cognitive load, reaffirm, promote consistency, facilitate creativity, problem solving, analyze, and understand.
While automation and systems are great tools for doing, thoughtfulness and reflection are great tools to answer why we do them. Many times I catch myself deep in a task without forethought. There's a shallow evaluation I do of others work, and a standard I hold myself against. Efficiency doesn't come easy, I can't cause myself anxiety or shame by holding myself to some standard, make space for myself to grow. I strive toward my goals by constant refinement. I'll get there - in time. My goal is to make time. Time for myself in the mornings and evenings. Time for my work as a part of the work itself. Thinking is work, even if code isn't typed, words aren't put to paper. Making time to think before I do, and before I speak is critical to my comfort. If I'm unable to, I simply need more. Thinking pays in dividends and growth.
We're all some sensory organs with a meat computer between the ears. In the giant distributed organ of thinking beings there are many great ideas to consider, and sometimes borrow. You'd be silly not to take them seriously. Consider this an open invitation to inform me, and consider opening up to exploring what's outside yourself.
As I move through the world, doing and finding direction, I think making what I know known is important. That's what's motivated me to write this blog post/ memo. That's why I'll continue to write about my exploration and back fill my past. I'm looking forward to sharing my daily reflections.comment?